Why I Haven't Found Mr. Right
No one said it would be easy. Quite frankly, I'm not even sure if it's worth it. As I begin to countdown my last few months of my undergraduate career, the nerves and anxiety are slowly kicking in. A month ago, my friend and I drove around time and did our usual shopping outing. Now I always enjoy these small moments with him because I don't get to see the guy very often. Luckily, we managed to always have the best conversations when we are together. My friend is a very intelligent and humble person. He attends one of the top universities in the world and while he is the closest thing a person can ever get to being well-rounded, he has never had a real relationship before. I remembered asking him, "Are you nervous?" "Nervous about what?" "I don't know. Not ever being in a relationship. Does that make you nervous?" He told me that love and settling down are things that rarely cross his mind. However, as he too is about to transition into the real world, things are slowly kicking in. "Now that you mentioned it, if I can't find a person here in college, it's going to be more difficult once I leave school." He's right. I'm sure of this. We ended the conversation with the agreement that we still have plenty of other important things to worry about and to focus on. I mean, we all know how the old saying goes: If you're not happy with who you are, how are you supposed to be happy with somebody else? I wish more people can understand how important this is.
Lately, I've encountered a lot of different people and it's safe to say that the amount of infatuation that is in the air has totally caught me off guard. So in order to be as productive as possible, I began to take some time and think about why these episodes kept reoccurring. Well, I started off by asking a few questions. What is it about me that attracts other people? Is it my lack of sense of humor? Is it my bluntness? Is it my OCD? Is it my untamed mane? I'm not sure what the answer is, all I know is that I am doing something right, but at the same time, it's wrong. Or at least, it feels wrong. As of this moment, I am simply not looking for a serious relationship. It's not because I am not a committed person. It's simply a matter of personal choice and some thing I've obliged to until I am fully confident and ready to be in one. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw from 'Sex in the City,' some women are not meant to be tamed. I, Khanh Duong, belong to that select pool of women. However, the less I care about making these impressions, the more I seem to attract--which has made my life all the more complicated.
You see, the type of man that I am drawn to is the kind of person who does not belittle his dreams and pursuits for others. He is a person who seeks progress, risks, and possibilities. The last thing this man would look for is a damsel in distress. That's right. My knight in shining armor is anything but a knight and his armor. So as soon as these guys figure this out, the less time I will need to waste in explaining to them why it wouldn't work out between us in the first place.
